In Order to Experience Joy, We Need Pain

9 05 2009

Flowers need water to grow, it gotta rain

And in order to experience joy you need pain

Every time a baby is born, somebody slain

You know the saying, somebody’s lose is another’s gain

The sun comes out when the water goes down the drain

When the rainbow in the cloud comes out we do it again –Jay-Z

3 Days of viewings in the funeral home followed by a funeral. This is how I know the world of death. These are days that go by fast, yet seem to drag on forever at the same time. Feelings come and go in these few days and a sickly type of numbness sets in. I am never comforted by being in the room with the body of a person I loved, especially when their soul is gone.  And yet, the worst day for me is often the final funeral viewing.

It is easy to be selfish and think about yourself and how much you will miss this person, but what about everyone else that person has touched? What about the people closest to them? This was my experience the last few days as I joined in the celebration of a wonderful woman’s life. She is my mother’s best friend, the wife of my father’s best friend, and the mother of my adopted sisters (so to speak).  My thoughts are with my adopted sisters and my mom more than anyone right now. I feel unnerved by this strange sense of futility and frustration in my efforts to help soothe their hurting.

For all those who have experienced a loss, (especially recent when the wound is still open) I would like to share this story I overheard the minister telling a women at the funeral.

There was a terrible storm at sea. All precautions were being taken, including putting passengers into life jackets. Every one was in a panic, everyone except one woman. When another passenger later questioned the woman’s calmness during the storm, she replied, “I have one child waiting for me at the port in New York. I have another child waiting for me in heaven. I just decided I did not care who I got to see first.”

Who knows what tomorrow may bring, maybe sunshine, maybe rain. Namaste.

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